translation of words.

it's the evening breeze yet again. making the hairs on my back stand upright, goosebumps all over. as always i tell myself that my body cannot stand the cold. as always. but each time knowing that it wasn't the cold. far from it. it's sausade. always have.

i wonder. if i would end up in that faltered state, when that day would come. so i sit quietly, solemnly, in an intense soliloquy to god. praying, hoping, wishing that i won't be one of those muslimahs with momma ko ene. i pray to Allah The Most Merciful, to listen to this distant cry.

the memories are flooding fast, like a broken dam, releasing years of pain and heartache. i wonder if the dam were fixable. because right now the images were playing in my head, like a record jammed of rust and dirt. that memory. that first moment of mamihlapinatapei, that moment when i knew that you were the one. i remembered, it was a frightening moment to meet someone you knew you'd love forever.

katahara itai - the only thing i want to hold close. and if i could, i'd wrap the loneliness tight and send it into the sky. for the angels to change it and send it back down as happiness.

so that perhaps i won't be just another attaccabottoni.