drowning.

i used to hate being in the water. when i was seven, my family went to this water themepark. there i got brave and stupid and decided to leave my parents' side and join my sisters and brothers who were much older than i was. as they were much taller, their strides were longer and more powerful. as we crossed the somewhat deep pool, i was the last one in line. so i tried to catch up with them but i slipped. my whole body went underneath the water. i did not know how to swim and i could not scream because i kept on treading water. my vision was turning blurry and my lungs were burning. i thought i was surely going to die at seven. but then my sister pulled me right out of the water. after that day, i dropped out of swimming lesson. i put the traumatic experience behind, shut it in a box, and threw away the key. i seriously believed that i would never get drowned again.

last year, i found myself yet in the same deep pool, clawing my way out. but this was not an ordinary pool. it was a pool of thought, of emotions so high it drowned me. i kept telling myself to get a grip, pull myself together, and that surely i would reach the surface once again. i kept kicking my legs further, more excessively until all the energy drained from my body. i turned limp and lifeless. and in that seconds, i lifted my head and i saw hands reaching out to me. pulling me back to safety once again. i could not make out whose hands they were or even the faces and voices. but i could feel it deep in my bones who they were. they were my friends.

today, i finally understand the true meaning of being drowned; the realization that no matter how many times i drowned, there would always be those hands, forever reaching out to me, pulling me back to safety, telling me that it is okay to cry because people would never figure it out of whether they were tears or waterdrops. in life, i would get drowned time after time. but as long as my friends live by my side, i would live. i would not die for them as i would not let them die for me. we would hold hands and fight our way together. we will live for each other. insyaAllah we will make it through. god is great. from Him we have come and to Him we will return.