today the clock strikes 12.
i'm no cinderella.
and i'm not planning to be one.
there won't be any fairy godmother to work her magic on me.
there won't be any prince to carry my glass slippers for me.
and there won't be any stepmother to ruin my life.
i've decided that age is simply mind over matter.
if you don't mind getting old, then it doesn't matter.
throughout the 21 years of my life, i still haven't found out what life is about.
i doubt that even if i live to be a 100, i'll never figure it out.
but i do found out what life is not about.
life is NOT about..
waiting for something good to come your way.
doing what you believe people want you to do.
forgetting who you were when you've changed.
making promises you can never keep.
believing that you can always help someone out.
getting caught up in the spur of the moment.
you.
"We have no choice of what color we're born or who our parents are or whether we're rich or poor. What we do have is some choice over what we make of our lives once we're here." - Mildred Taylor
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
when exhaustion creeps...
right. i'm so not a succesful blogger. is it compulsory for us to update our blog on a daily basis?? can't it be weekly?? or monthly?? annually?? ok maybe not annually but still...being a trainee teacher is exhausting enough.
here's my routine for the past two weeks...
wake up..(hoping its saturday..)
go back to sleep..
wake up five seconds later..(realize its not..)
iron my baju kurung..
take a bath..
sms niza..(g kul bapa?)
siap2..(dgn x relanyer..)
jalan pi bustop..(ni klau siap awal la..)
borak2 kosong..(on the way to school..)
g clas yg x sampai 10 orang..(yg len sume pakat ponteng..)
g relief..(sadly never felt relief..)
balik sekola..
sesi luahan perasaan bersama housemates..(the best part of the day)
g dinner..(kat depan umah je x larat dh nk jln jauh2)
take a bath..
tidooo..
bangun pagi..(berkejar buat leson plan..)
yup.
dats my life.
i wonder how long that'll last...
today i taught 1F(the form one class with the worst attitude problem according to the other teachers..). just my luck dat the PK petang proudly lied to my ever-so-kind mentor, Mr. Selva, "Eh, Cikgu Ifa yang nak clas 1F..." Huh?? when did i ever said that? huhu..(x mo, x mo..ku memberontak..dalam ati je la..)
yeah back to 1F..surprisingly they were all there today..not a single truant-er(does this word exist? heheh..). even the chinese males participated today in the lesson. i was asked by my mentor to do a revision on characters in "The Pencil" since none of them can answer it in the previous exam..(only four of them pass for English, can u believe dat??)
we played a game where each of them has to stick a card with the correct characteristic on the board. tong wei shen as always gave excuse for not copying the notes by saying he cant see from the back. this time i used my rusty mandarin "Dai yanjing la.."(wear glasses la..) and all the snobbish chinese laughed along with me. hey it felt really good for the first time to be able to make them laugh. guess i've to brush up my mandarin more..hhmm do i still have my cassandra laoshi's phone number? wo xuyao ni laoshi!!
also today, Amirul Faiz, my student from 1G(i'm teaching them sivic) had human trafficked himself into 1F while i was teaching English..i had to chase him out of the class not because i dont like him but because i'm afraid cikgu syikin will sue me for having an illegal student from her class into my class. Faiz has actually been in almost all of my other classes as well. he practically smuggled himself saying he's from whatever class i was teaching at the moment(like i dun know which class he's from!)i only teach him sivic so dat means i only enter his class once a week and according to him dat is soo not enough..(ecececeeehhh...)
this week i had relief for 1G, 2F, 2C(clas niza), 2E and kelas peralihan..in kelas peralihan some students were fighting and they slapped each other..(the trend in the school: when form one students fight they slap each other, when form two students fight they punch each other..niceee..) i had to break them off as scary as that sound and one of them ran crying to the toilet and i lectured the other student but frankly i dun think he was even listening to me..haiiishh..wo zenmeyang??
1G is fine la because i'm teaching them sivic as well so relief class is a breeze. the only problem is i've to chase Faiz(again!!) to surau because he wont go for his Zuhur prayer.
2C is okay la..farid cant stop teaching, syahirah cant stop walking, syakila cant stop complimenting..(ikhlas ker huhu??), but all in all they were nice kids.
2F is..slightly unmanageable. Niza's stalker is in that class so i've to avoid talking about him at all cost..wah cam ahli politik dah aku skang..penoh tipu muslihat..dah tanyer byk sgt aku tibai je la jwb aper2 pon janji dia puas haha!
everytime they make me mad, i said to myself, "Budak2.."
wonder how long will it be till i can say that without gritting my teeth..
huahuahuahuahua...!!!
the best moment:
1. when one student came up to me after class and said "saya sayang cikgu.." (owh terharunyer..)
2. when two students (1F no less) came up to me after class and asked me to use another period to continue teaching them..(which i did..org dah mintak kan..kan..)
3. when one student came and apologized for misbehaving in the class and thanked me for willing to sacrifice my lunch time to teach him on articles..(baru korang tau cikgu sanggup berpanas berlapo demi korang..tapi lapo sungguh ari tuh!)
the worst moment:
1. salah masuk relief..haha x sabo sgt first time dapat relief sampai sejam awal dibuatnyer..malu jugok la sket..
2. kaki melecet the whole week so jalan terhencut2 sambil cover la. so i ended up walking so ayu to class when really my feet are hurting like crazy!
3. waiting for the last bell to ring...
yup.
my life as a trainee teacher is all roses and thorns..
whats a rose without its thorns rite??
its a package delivered straight to you with no guarantee and are not returnable..once you love your students, you keep them for life.
until then.
here's my routine for the past two weeks...
wake up..(hoping its saturday..)
go back to sleep..
wake up five seconds later..(realize its not..)
iron my baju kurung..
take a bath..
sms niza..(g kul bapa?)
siap2..(dgn x relanyer..)
jalan pi bustop..(ni klau siap awal la..)
borak2 kosong..(on the way to school..)
g clas yg x sampai 10 orang..(yg len sume pakat ponteng..)
g relief..(sadly never felt relief..)
balik sekola..
sesi luahan perasaan bersama housemates..(the best part of the day)
g dinner..(kat depan umah je x larat dh nk jln jauh2)
take a bath..
tidooo..
bangun pagi..(berkejar buat leson plan..)
yup.
dats my life.
i wonder how long that'll last...
today i taught 1F(the form one class with the worst attitude problem according to the other teachers..). just my luck dat the PK petang proudly lied to my ever-so-kind mentor, Mr. Selva, "Eh, Cikgu Ifa yang nak clas 1F..." Huh?? when did i ever said that? huhu..(x mo, x mo..ku memberontak..dalam ati je la..)
yeah back to 1F..surprisingly they were all there today..not a single truant-er(does this word exist? heheh..). even the chinese males participated today in the lesson. i was asked by my mentor to do a revision on characters in "The Pencil" since none of them can answer it in the previous exam..(only four of them pass for English, can u believe dat??)
we played a game where each of them has to stick a card with the correct characteristic on the board. tong wei shen as always gave excuse for not copying the notes by saying he cant see from the back. this time i used my rusty mandarin "Dai yanjing la.."(wear glasses la..) and all the snobbish chinese laughed along with me. hey it felt really good for the first time to be able to make them laugh. guess i've to brush up my mandarin more..hhmm do i still have my cassandra laoshi's phone number? wo xuyao ni laoshi!!
also today, Amirul Faiz, my student from 1G(i'm teaching them sivic) had human trafficked himself into 1F while i was teaching English..i had to chase him out of the class not because i dont like him but because i'm afraid cikgu syikin will sue me for having an illegal student from her class into my class. Faiz has actually been in almost all of my other classes as well. he practically smuggled himself saying he's from whatever class i was teaching at the moment(like i dun know which class he's from!)i only teach him sivic so dat means i only enter his class once a week and according to him dat is soo not enough..(ecececeeehhh...)
this week i had relief for 1G, 2F, 2C(clas niza), 2E and kelas peralihan..in kelas peralihan some students were fighting and they slapped each other..(the trend in the school: when form one students fight they slap each other, when form two students fight they punch each other..niceee..) i had to break them off as scary as that sound and one of them ran crying to the toilet and i lectured the other student but frankly i dun think he was even listening to me..haiiishh..wo zenmeyang??
1G is fine la because i'm teaching them sivic as well so relief class is a breeze. the only problem is i've to chase Faiz(again!!) to surau because he wont go for his Zuhur prayer.
2C is okay la..farid cant stop teaching, syahirah cant stop walking, syakila cant stop complimenting..(ikhlas ker huhu??), but all in all they were nice kids.
2F is..slightly unmanageable. Niza's stalker is in that class so i've to avoid talking about him at all cost..wah cam ahli politik dah aku skang..penoh tipu muslihat..dah tanyer byk sgt aku tibai je la jwb aper2 pon janji dia puas haha!
everytime they make me mad, i said to myself, "Budak2.."
wonder how long will it be till i can say that without gritting my teeth..
huahuahuahuahua...!!!
the best moment:
1. when one student came up to me after class and said "saya sayang cikgu.." (owh terharunyer..)
2. when two students (1F no less) came up to me after class and asked me to use another period to continue teaching them..(which i did..org dah mintak kan..kan..)
3. when one student came and apologized for misbehaving in the class and thanked me for willing to sacrifice my lunch time to teach him on articles..(baru korang tau cikgu sanggup berpanas berlapo demi korang..tapi lapo sungguh ari tuh!)
the worst moment:
1. salah masuk relief..haha x sabo sgt first time dapat relief sampai sejam awal dibuatnyer..malu jugok la sket..
2. kaki melecet the whole week so jalan terhencut2 sambil cover la. so i ended up walking so ayu to class when really my feet are hurting like crazy!
3. waiting for the last bell to ring...
yup.
my life as a trainee teacher is all roses and thorns..
whats a rose without its thorns rite??
its a package delivered straight to you with no guarantee and are not returnable..once you love your students, you keep them for life.
until then.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
prac o prac...
SMK Sri Istana. Yup. That's where i'll be torturing myself for three months. After the final list was out, i figured that it must be one of those schools where all the lords' heirs went to. I mean Sri Istana, go figure. On Mon however, it was like a sick version of a fairy tale. It was like Sleeping Beauty waking up to find her Prince only it wasn't the Prince but the donkey from Shrek...ok i know. Bad anology. But still. It was like an American version of a school in Utah.
The good thing is that the principal Pn. Mawarni is waaay nice. I was told that the students are mostly orphans. They had family crisis all their lives. The rest came from broken families and some never even knew who their parents are. Here's what i think: these kids they dun even trust adults. They've been hurt by adults and they hide the pain by inflicting it onto others. The principal said that "If only one student came to see you to share his/her problem, then you are successful enough." I gotta admit; i was kinda spaced out for the rest of the conversation as i was mostly occupied with my own super crazee thoughts (explains why the other trainees did most of the talking, hehe...) What if they dun trust me enough to let me teach them? Considering all the stories i've heard about car-scratching and tyres-puncturing, it'll be a hell of an experience. Fortunately i'm riding with the other trainee to school and if there'll be scratch we won't know who is it for rite?? (unless the students wrote my name instead of Niza on the car, which i hope they dont coz then he might start a quarrel with me and it'll tarnish the fac's image - us not being united and all, heee...)
Talking about the other trainees, there were four of us. All giddy + excited + nervous bout the school. Here's my first impression on them:
Niza: very composed, very SR-like (he's already called the school b4 pre-prac is over), an expert liar (he bluffed his way sayin' its only 5 mins walk to school when it was like 20)
Nuar: extremely passionate in teaching (quote from anonymous: "klo aku ade anak nti, konpem aku nk anta dia ke sek anuar ngajar"), most friendly (the male teachers kept callin' him Cikgu Hairul, Cikgu Hairul...like they've known him for life)
Ika: very2 motherly (siyes la...klo my mom tgk sah2 nk wat menantu), professional (the way she kept nodding her head and bringin' the google map), hardworking betol (time ROS ye leh wat report kat sek time2 tu gak!)
I dun think i can yet say "I love my school" for now. It just didn't feel right. If i say it but i didn't really mean it, then where's the sense in that, rite? Time will tell, i guess...Hopefully at the end of these three months i'll be able to stand in a crowd and say firm and proud; "I'm glad i was here..."
The good thing is that the principal Pn. Mawarni is waaay nice. I was told that the students are mostly orphans. They had family crisis all their lives. The rest came from broken families and some never even knew who their parents are. Here's what i think: these kids they dun even trust adults. They've been hurt by adults and they hide the pain by inflicting it onto others. The principal said that "If only one student came to see you to share his/her problem, then you are successful enough." I gotta admit; i was kinda spaced out for the rest of the conversation as i was mostly occupied with my own super crazee thoughts (explains why the other trainees did most of the talking, hehe...) What if they dun trust me enough to let me teach them? Considering all the stories i've heard about car-scratching and tyres-puncturing, it'll be a hell of an experience. Fortunately i'm riding with the other trainee to school and if there'll be scratch we won't know who is it for rite?? (unless the students wrote my name instead of Niza on the car, which i hope they dont coz then he might start a quarrel with me and it'll tarnish the fac's image - us not being united and all, heee...)
Talking about the other trainees, there were four of us. All giddy + excited + nervous bout the school. Here's my first impression on them:
Niza: very composed, very SR-like (he's already called the school b4 pre-prac is over), an expert liar (he bluffed his way sayin' its only 5 mins walk to school when it was like 20)
Nuar: extremely passionate in teaching (quote from anonymous: "klo aku ade anak nti, konpem aku nk anta dia ke sek anuar ngajar"), most friendly (the male teachers kept callin' him Cikgu Hairul, Cikgu Hairul...like they've known him for life)
Ika: very2 motherly (siyes la...klo my mom tgk sah2 nk wat menantu), professional (the way she kept nodding her head and bringin' the google map), hardworking betol (time ROS ye leh wat report kat sek time2 tu gak!)
I dun think i can yet say "I love my school" for now. It just didn't feel right. If i say it but i didn't really mean it, then where's the sense in that, rite? Time will tell, i guess...Hopefully at the end of these three months i'll be able to stand in a crowd and say firm and proud; "I'm glad i was here..."
i'm back??
Errmmm where should i begin? Maybe i should start with the story of how busy i got over the semesters and left my blog unattended? Or the times when i forgot my own password and couldn't even write in my own blog? Or maybe the one where i'd actually recreated a new blog last October but i also forgot about it? Or better yet; the one when i...wait a minute. Huh guess i just explained myself. Successfully no less. Heeeeeeee...
The first entry should begin with a positive note right? Wrong. The result was out and i've read the mini transcript and i practically bored hole through the laptop screen just staring at them. It could've been seconds, minutes, or hours (ok just kidding...) but still...it was preposterous! The result i mean not the screen. Darn! I knew i didn't do very well last semester but THIS? My mom called then and we talked for hours (ok for a few minutes but you know how girls love to exaggerate rite?) Anyway it kinda like being woken up by cold water. Yup mom's always rite. I hate that. Heheh. "At least you can still go for your prac". Thanks mom (i'll water ur plants with real water after this like a week maybe) No more VC Award for me i guess. Hey it feels good to be writing again. Why did i ever stop blogging?
p/s: i just hope that on graduation day when wawa actually walk up the stage for his VC Award, i won't be the one who will scream "It should've been me up there if it wasn't for Method Writing and Grammar in Part 6!!!" (please dun let wawa read dis...ngeh2)
The first entry should begin with a positive note right? Wrong. The result was out and i've read the mini transcript and i practically bored hole through the laptop screen just staring at them. It could've been seconds, minutes, or hours (ok just kidding...) but still...it was preposterous! The result i mean not the screen. Darn! I knew i didn't do very well last semester but THIS? My mom called then and we talked for hours (ok for a few minutes but you know how girls love to exaggerate rite?) Anyway it kinda like being woken up by cold water. Yup mom's always rite. I hate that. Heheh. "At least you can still go for your prac". Thanks mom (i'll water ur plants with real water after this like a week maybe) No more VC Award for me i guess. Hey it feels good to be writing again. Why did i ever stop blogging?
p/s: i just hope that on graduation day when wawa actually walk up the stage for his VC Award, i won't be the one who will scream "It should've been me up there if it wasn't for Method Writing and Grammar in Part 6!!!" (please dun let wawa read dis...ngeh2)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)