how long will you.

Can you reach that one point where you can love someone forever?

I think it is difficult to love someone forever. It always is. Because being in love and love are two very different feelings. Anybody can be in love but to love someone needs much commitment, without conditions, and much loyalty, with only a bit of love itself.

The first phase is always being in love. And this phase usually lasts about a year or two years at the most. During this time, everything is beautiful. He is beautiful, she is beautiful. Whatever you shared is beautiful. This is when love is blind, you only see what you wanted to see. There's this connection that only the two of you can feel that makes you want to start a new life together as soon as you can because it is such a beautiful feeling and you afraid that it'll pass you by and you'll lose it.

After a year passes, the being in love phase is over. And then comes love. Love is what is left when being in love is over. When the rainbows and candies and the missing part is over, you have to come face to face with the reality of love, how it bites. You have done all those sweet messages, late night phone calls, weekend dates. Now that the beautiful part is over, the selfish part will take over. And this is the ugliest part. You'll begin to want more, and end up losing the ability to love unconditionally. You will compare your partner with others' partners and see only the weakness that you didn't see before. Guys would wish their partner is prettier, and girls want their partner to have a promising career ahead. Next, all the compliments would slowly change to complaints, and this is done in the most subtle way possible so as to protect our image as the good partner. As subtle as it is, it hurts. Though most of us didn't admit the pain. And when the pain starts to spread, you'll begin to lose hope of ever saving the remainders of the love. You want to end it as soon as possible, afraid that it'll turn uglier, afraid to wait any longer in case your partner will realize that you are not as  special as they thought you were, and that you disappoint them by not meeting their expectation. You'll get farther apart from one another and finally decide to let go.

So when we keep asking our partners of whether they love us or not, I think we should stop, just stop asking. Because most of the times when your partners tell you they love you, they really do. All those crazy things they did to get you, they mean every single one of them. They do love you, at that time. But the thing is, love can fade, so both of you have to learn to push away that selfishness, that insecurity. And accept, to accept each other unconditionally, the same way you accepted each other while you were in love the year before. So the question is not so much as 'Does he/she love you?' but more of 'How long will he/she love you?'